To be considered feminine, a woman has to pry a man from his friends and cleave him to her; sex is her lure. To prove he is masculine, a man has to show his friends he is a sexual conqueror; an emotional attachment to one woman can feel like a trap. In their peer groups, the closeness of men’s bonding is masked by sex talk, especially boasting of sexual conquests: ‘Men need to shoot the breeze, talk shit, chase women and run the jungle together’ (Simmons 1992, 401).
The heterosexual boy’s goal is conquest: ‘To the young man, the woman becomes, in the most profound sense, a sexual object. Her body and mind are the object of sexual games, to be won for his personal aggrandizement. Status goes to the winner, and sex is prized not as a testament of love but as testimony to control of another human being” (Anderson 1990, 114).
If I were to make t-shirts that said “Save people, not boobies”, with proceeds going to breast cancer organizations (that aren’t the Susan G. Komen foundation or any other organizations with similar practices) would people buy them?
yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. please do this
So if you – the oppressed – hurt someone’s feelings, you’re just like the oppressor, right? Wrong. Oppression is not about hurt feelings. It is about the rights and opportunities that are not afforded to you because you belong to a certain group of people. When you use a racist slur you imply that non-whiteness is a bad thing, and thus publicly reinforce a system that denies POC the rights and opportunities of white people. Calling a white person a racist fuckhead doesn’t do any of that. Yes, it’s not very nice. And how effective it is as a tactic is definitely up for debate (that’s a whole other blog post). But it’s not oppression.
It’s okay to say “no” if you change your mind. We allow you to change majors and change direction and change clothes, with no repercussions other than possibly wasted time. If his touch is too forceful and his breath too hot and his weight too much, you are not bound to your previous decision. If your mimd is screaming and your nerves are sizzling, they are as valid then and now as they were five minutes ago, when you were saying yes.
It’s okay to say “no” if you were flirting. Batted eyelashes and sly smirks and witty words do not form a map to your uncharted territory. Your playfulness does not relieve them of their self control. Your allure does not diminish their responsibility to be respectful. The only path you led them on is that of the unknown, of which the rules of the road still apply.
It’s okay to say “no” if you’re unsure.
It’s okay to say “no” if you’re embarrassed.
It’s okay to say “no” when they tell you it isn’t okay to say “no.”
the fact that women’s healthcare seems to be a joke among men is sickening.
lance armstrong loses a testicle and everyone’s like “oh man must have been so hard for him poor guy losing his manhood LIVESTRONG” and angelina jolie gets the jokes after her mother died from cancer and she’s trying to protect herself???